This blog was inspired after the passing of my dear mother just last Friday, not even a week ago. It was the fourth day of the nine-day Navratri Festival that is dedicated to the Mother Goddess. This is a major festival in India, which is celebrated with gusto, as it is believed the Mother Goddess comes to Earth in her forms of Durga as Shaki the Protectress, Lakshmi the Goddess of Abundance, and as Saraswati the Goddess of Learning.
One of my childhood friends comforted me by writing that the Mother Goddess had herself come to take away my mother to her eternal abode. It is indeed poignant that woman all over the world, play all of these three roles and more, in their jobs as Mothers.
The following is an impromptu obituary that I wrote as my Facebook status to announce the passing of my mother. In this blog, I will endeavor to understand and appreciate all her actions and where they came from. It will help me as a woman and as a mother I hope. The exploration should offer me insights to being the best possible human being, and mother that I can be.
As parents, it is our job to lead by example. My mother certainly did, only I did not always follow in her path, or heed her advice. She however, was relentless in her pursuit of leading an excellent life, by following her passions with integrity, truth, and above all answering to the call of duty at all times in an exemplary fashion.
It is for us as mothers to instill and inspire, but we cannot force our children to action. However, we can continue to love, forgive, encourage, listen and to pray as my mother did for us. Our relationship as parent and child begin when a child is born, and ends only after we are both gone, after both of us have breathed our last.
Even then, the nuances of this one of a kind relationship are passed on for posterity through our children, colored by the quality and content of the parent-child relationship. When one has failed the other, it may come back to haunt posterity, as the 'sins of the father' do.
We have to be mindful in our every action, what we bequeath to our children as our Karma and as our legacy. We do not have access to the past to modify it, only a future to correct our mistakes and to choose what is righteous.
Just like the flowing waters that keep on flowing, and carrying everything that is collected along their paths, on the way to merge with the ocean, and never to return to source, so it is with the passage of our time on earth. One day we will merge with the infinite, but our soul will carry with it the memories and repercussions of our actions and deeds as Karma.
Let it be a good one, for the benefit of posterity and for the sake of our salvation.
With blessings and love,
Veenu
10/21/2015.
Mummy, VIMLA MADAN 1923- October 16, 2015
My beautiful mother Vimla Madan, passed away today. Peacefully and disease free at 92. No blood pressure, no heart disease, no diabetes, and not on any medications, not even a vitamin pill, since she was in her late forties I would guess, except the odd homeopathic remedy and daily long and brisk walks, till the last couple of years.
After retiring from over three decades of Government service in the Ministry of Defense in 1980, she fulfilled her desire and travelled all over India with her friend Miss Enid Keskar. The two women went all the way to Kanyakumari, completing a pilgrimage of several temples in southern India. She even stopped to visit me in Bombay, after hitting some pilgrimage spots in western India.
In her 60's she was introduced to Sahaja Yoga and that became her daily routine followed by a long session of Acupressure. An hour and a half of self care. She liked to care for her plants, and feed the birds when she could. She was disciplined and religious about hygiene and self care.
It took me several hours to write about her here, and I am doing so at the behest of some of my childhood friends who have inundated me with loving messages.
My mother leaves behind a rich legacy of first and foremost fulfilling her duties, being true her heart, to live to her highest potential, laugh and love and forgive easily. Her good habits, her generosity of spirit will be a hard act to follow.
Mummy was highly educated, obtaining a Master's degree at a time when it was not uncommon for girls to not finish high school. She was extremely accomplished, studied Hindi from scratch as an adult, and even took a refresher French course, having studied it in school. Her education had been in English and her second language was Urdu. Mummy could knit with her eyes closed at the speed of light, and wrote even faster.
She loved painting and reading and writing long instructional letters to me, thus bequeathing me with a wealth that is beyond riches. I got parcels of newspaper clippings from her, which included cutting of quotable quotes, that she knew I loved to read. Some years, I even got cuttings of my birthday forecast, which she knew I liked to read.
At 78, in 2001, on a visit to the USA, Mummy learned how to use a Mac notebook or 'Apple' computer, so she could read her favorite newspapers, The Times of India and the Deccan Herald. She also wrote emails to me, when she wanted me to know something in a hurry!
I can only hope that I can keep her goodness alive in the way I lead my life, and what I bequeath to my children. Words really fail me, so I'm telling her stories, but they say far too little about her.
Mummy lived a good life, and I think she will want me to celebrate that. She travelled alone till she was 86 years old, coming frequently to visit me first in Australia and in the USA. She has touched many lives and we are all the richer for having been touched by her presence in our lives.
I'll probably have to add to this, Mummy. There is so much of your life to celebrate! Meanwhile I will let you Rest. Rest in eternal Peace. I know you've earned it. I love you, as I always have and forever will. Veenu xoxoxoxo
